Some say life is like a roller coaster, with all the thrills it entails, sudden drops that plummet so quickly you lose your breath and turns so sharp that you feel you are going to be ejected from your seat. Thrills, spills, laughter and the fear associated with the unexpected related to life and what we experience in it. Then there is Forrest Gump, whose mama taught him that life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what's inside until you bite into it, so many ways that one can express life and all that happens between birth and death and we each see it a bit differently when we look at it and the life that we lead.
As for me, my life seems more like a yoyo, predictable to an extent. Stationary, going up and down, like pendulem going back and forth keeping rhythm with the passing of time only mine is going up and down without the unexpected thrills of not knowing what is next, a sudden drop from a great height or what is around the next curve. At my apex I have a broad view of all that is around me and very little is hid from my sight, then at my lowest point all I can see is what is in front of me. Up and down it seems my life has been going for so long now. No surprises, nothing that excites me as it used to and nothing to look forward to as I once before did.
Some would say I was in nothing more than a rut, life repeating itself day after day, but a rut is linear, a depression in the ground and the more traveled the deeper it gets until you lose all periphery sight and all you have is what you see before you and what you left behind, but at least a rut isn't stationary, you are heading is some direction. But a yoyo goes nowhere in any real since of the meaning and what is sadder that being a yo yo I do not even control the ups and downs I experience, someone else masters the string to which the yoyo is anchored to and it is only by their their will that determines the velocity of the ascent or decent.
Sometimes I wish that string would break and send me off across life's plains in some erratic manner, uncontrolled, exciting, not knowing what is over the next rise or around the next bend instead of this constant up and down where all I see is what I have seen so many times before. Could it be just a factor of my age or that complacency has relegated me to this point in life.
Should I complain about this? Am I wearing my heart on my sleeve? I have been on that roller coaster of life before and I have experienced the thrills of the unexpected and the tickle in my stomach as I feel as if I am floating when velocity seems void as from being dropped from a great height and then suspended. I had that something in my life to look forward to and all the surprises it held in store for me and I looked forward to each and every turn, hill, thrill each day, but it seems I stepped off the roller coaster and can't find my way back again, even thought I have looked countless times before.
Up and I down I have seemed to go and no surprises I have encountered, no scenery that I have not seen before. All is quiet, no screams, gasps or laughing as because the unexpected has been taken out of the equation and replaced with the reassuring thought that I will either be going up or down, stationary and going no place.
Anyone up for a ride on a roller coaster?
Distant Isles
On the shores of distant isles
Where the gentle trade wind blows
My thoughts drift and settle for a while
Across my dreams like a river she flows
Beneath the stars that flood the skies
I lay my body down upon the sand
To her like the wind my spirit flies
To feel the soft caress of her hand
Listening to the waves kiss the shore
I close my eyes and her I see
To be with her I go like nights before
But only in my dreams it's meant to be
I feel the breeze upon my face
As soft as her whisper on my ear
It envelopes me like her embrace
Then I feel the fall of my tears
I walk these shores late at night
Searching for the one who walked away
She has run and hides from my sight
She has gone and refused to stay
Upon these shores of distant isles
These sands that I now walk alone
I think of a love that was defiled
I think of a love that now is gone
Underneath the moon's soft glow
Only one shadow touches the sand
Where two danced once long agao
This place where I held her hand
This place I go it tortures me
Yet this is where I find my peace
This place where she used to be
This dream that is my only release
Upon the shores of distant isles
Where the gentle trade wind blows
My thoughts drift and settle a while
Across my dreams like a river she flows
Later...
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2 comments:
You can sit and wish for the string to be cut just the same as you can sit and wish for snow on the moon.
Alternately you can just get up and do something totally at random.
Check out the local paper ads for events and get in the car and go look at the county fair and Ma Baker's home made jam and enter the guess the weight of this calf competition.
Or go look at the library notice board and join in some event...
...Or sit and read my words and nod your head and continue to make wishes about some string.
Seems a little too geriatric for me. I may be somewhat "old" but not to the point of entering some retirement community and watching others age. I can do that by looking in my mirror.
Basically what is means is that we are all tied to something, even you, that we do not have any control over, even though we like to think we do. Even a roller coaster has one locked into the seat, they just make it a bit more exciting.
As for sitting here reading your words and nodding, no I do not sit and gather dust waiting for a comment on my blog.
Later...
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