Where Does it go from Here?

 I can remember when all it cost me to get a job was the price of a Sunday newspaper, a cup of coffee, an ink pen or pencil and experience. You found a nice corner booth, settled in, started perusing the wanted section and circled the the job you were interested in, then wake up early Monday morning, sat by your phone and started making phone calls to prospective clients and the really nice thing about it is that you actually kept to talk to a real live person and expressing your desire to interview with them, wow, what a concept.

Now you have a computer running an algorithm and parsing your resume that may have taken you hours or even days to compile, depending on your age and at my age days would be the norm, only to rip it apart picking out bits and pieces just to send back an email from "donotreply@youwantthisjob.com", to be told, "We received your resume." and then all you are  supposed to do is wait until someone finishes the donut and coffee on their third morning break to try and decipher the parsing trying to figure out what position you are applying for.

Then comes the long awaited email, "Hello, we are in the process of reviewing the information you sent in consideration for the position of whatever it was you applied for. Please be patient as our globally recognized talent recruitment team members goes over your information that really couldn't be worth a hill of beans to us and matches your skills and experience in our awesome $3 billion dollar building overlooking the most serene landscape you've ever seen. We should get back to you shortly in about three to six months, give are take a business quarter. From your over paid less experienced than you team at donotreply@hahahayouthinkwereallycare.com" as spittle drips from your lower lip back in your coffee cup that you had to go to some discount strip shop borderline use by date cheapest coffee they have on the shelf and hoping it does not say "Contents of this package are recycled from You Want This Job employee break room."

As the six month and possibly an extra business quarter time from At You Want This Job, Inc. is running out and your job inquiry is about to be deleted, you get that email you have been waiting for as you drink your cup of slightly flavored coffee recycled coffee grounds, "Congratulations, you have made the cut! But before we proceed any further we need you to take an assessment test at one of our co-partner sites designed to have you jump through additional hoops for our own enjoyment and amusement, but I really urge you to take the "practice assessment test" first so you'll be better prepared to take the final assessment test so that we may get some additional fun out of the dead end maze we are sending you through. Please click on the link below so that we may better evaluate how really stupid we think you are. Good luck and have your billing information ready as we sit back and laugh our butts off while you believe you think you're getting a job here with people who could care less if you get the job or not. So please follow this link, debitorcreditcard@suckyouraccountdry.com and make us laugh."

Out of desperation, starvation and filed eviction notice you click on the link. "Well hello stupid person who doesn't realize what's being done to you and we really couldn't care less member at Suck Your Wallet Dry, Inc. affiliated with those who enjoy a good circus show of never ending idiots who there seems to be no shortage of, welcome. Please have your debit or credit card ready as we begin the process of squeezing every last penny from your wallet and start you on your road to financial failure and bankruptcy. Good luck and we really hope you have the funds to cover this assessment no one will ever read as the link is a dead-end from no where to we could care less."

Still thinking there is something to the position you applied for, you fill in your personal information from the financial institution at "Astronomical Interest Rates Second Rate Financial, Inc." and click the "Are You Really This Stupid?" button to have your last penny being drained from your wallet, you see the price, $1,500.00 or whatever you have left in the bank or limit on your credit card, you decide personal starvation and a pissed off significant other isn't worth going bankrupt over, you click the "cancel and close" button, but not before a pop up window appears in your browser, "Hey stupid, can you really not afford this and deny us of a good laugh?", you proceed to close it out and still another pop up window appears, "Okay and only because you've given us such amusement, today and today only we are going to offer you a whole 3% discount on the practice assessment test package that we know we will make up getting you to buy other needless training material that prepares you for nothing.", you still proceed and try to close the page only to once again be accosted by another pop up window belittling you, or trying to, into submission in order for them to increase sales and their stock selling price on the NYSE or some other Wall Street firm hell bent on increasing profit margins on a company one of their uneducated get rich quick I can create a useless money making rip-off website brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin or in-law relatives uploaded that they feel they can abuse at your personal and financial expense just to prove P.T. Barnum's quote, "There's a sucker born every minute." on a bet made in a bar.

I can remember when looking for a job cost no more than the price of a Sunday Edition newspaper, a cup of coffee, experience and a quiet spot in a corner booth, 45 cents, less tip.



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