I Love You....

Why do we say it? Those three little words that we do to another? Do we say it as an affirmation of our feelings? Do we say it to convince the one we are telling it to in order to explain in as few words as possible that complex and confusing emotion that we cannot seem to explain in any amount of words? Do we mean it when we say it or is it said as a reflex action when we feel that we have nothing else to say? Why do we say it?

A conveyance of an emotion said in as few words as possible to unite and tie two together. Naturally we feel it for our children, parents and siblings. We are born into it, it is a bond that we create from birth, whether ours or theirs. But the love we feel for another is one learned or one that grows within us. We find something for some reason that has drawn us to that conclusion that we are in love. At first those words come as a small utterance, nervously said and afraid hoping that it is mutual. It is three words guarded, kept close and when said we feel relieved, afraid and vulnerable. We have just laid all our cards on the table so to say and in those three words have let the other know where we hope that it may lead.

In the beginning it is usually the first words we speak to the other and we feel that lightness and a euphoria it brings when it is said in return. And as the relationship progresses it takes on other meanings, not just as an expression or an affirmation of our feelings, but as an explanation of why we might do something either for the other or to the other. Later for some it is used as an excuse to try and explain why we do certain things or seek forgiveness of the other. Do we abuse it, use it or really know what it means when we say it? Some seem to think that the less it is said the more it means and some seem to think the more it is said it will strengthen a relationship.

Is it the cause of sleepless nights, loss of appetite? What are the symptoms of love? Does it cause one to forget to be irresponsible to readdress their priorities in life? Does it cause them to lose sight of things going on around them and they find that they only focus on that feeling?

I believe there are various stages and different kinds of love. I think we all believe that. So what is the differences in those types of love or the stages it progresses through when we have found that one in our life that we see ourselves sharing all those secrets we keep bottled up inside? What possess us to open up like we do once we realize that we are in love? Is it to show the other the trust you have placed in that emotion or in them? Why do we feel so vulnerable when we say it? And why do some regret saying it when they have said it? It seems it brings more questions than answers and we have been taught all through our lives not to question it but accept it. To believe in it and thus by doing so we start to nurture it. To some it scares them, they are walking a path they have never been on before, things are unfamiliar to them, they are out of their comfort zone and some are too guarded to say it, afraid that by doing so they have set themselves up to be hurt, disappointed and left alone.

It is better to have loved in life and lost than to never have loved at all. Is it? What does it bring to one? So many emotions are felt when we are in love or feel that we are. Emotions we rarely experience, emotions that confuse us. There is nothing simple about love or at least that is my personal feeling about it, but to others there is nothing simpler than love. Strange how it affects us and how we each see it different. But it is a universal feeling of mixed emotions, I think we can all agree on that.

Why do we fall in love? Do we do it as an honest emotion we are feeling, do we do it out of loneliness or do we do it out of habit? Some use it as a tool or a weapon to work themselves into a certain situation, to control another or coerce another into something they are unsure about. For some it is genuine and honest and forever. Some believe that you can fall out of love just as easily as you fall in love and go through life in a myriad of relationships leaving behind them a path of destruction and broken hearts and some once they fall in love they seem to trust in that feeling they have gained and cannot see themselves with no one else for the rest of their life.

Is love a genuine emotion or a conditioning we go through in life as we grow. Often our first examples of love and a relationship we get are from our parents. And it usually sets the groundwork of how we will deal with our relationships in the future or how we will define love. After all we see in our parents that place of the source to answers to all our questions about life. That by their example and their words we hold true and we find ourselves forming our own relationships based on that knowledge we have gained from them. Very few I believe rarely go outside this and form their on belief of how they feel love is or how they see it.

Some go to great lengths to prove their love and some offer it as no more than saying it. Most of us were born out of love. A result of a relationship between two to show the other that they are committed and see in them a forever, an undying emotion that will carry them through life together no matter what confronts them or tries to come between them. Do we really fall out of love or is it because we are afraid to be hurt that we pull ourselves away and hermit ourselves and use the excuse that the other did not really love us or understand what it takes to be in love and make a relationship work? For some it opens them up and they find themselves wanting to explore this new feeling and for others it causes them to withdraw deeper into that shell they have created afraid to wander out of it.

I do feel that if you are in love it is unconditional and you accept the other for who they are and not look at them as a challenge, something to be changed from that one that you met. That if they are in love that change will come from them without you changing them. We cannot mold someone to fit of how we think they should be and I do not think that we should place demands on the other if we are in love or expect out of them anything they are uncomfortable with. Those changes have to come from them and their desire to want to change for the other. I feel patience and trust in the other will create that change and believing in them and their love will cause them to want to change without the others influence. I do not believe it should not be held over the others head in order to gain something from them or used as a threat or a tool to get something they are not willing to give. I believe that this does not foster a lasting relationship or define how love is truly meant to be.

But to feel love and deny it, to deny the one you love is not protecting yourself, it is only hurting you. Who is to say that it will come around again. We get so few chances in life at love if any at all and to keep that love you are feeling to yourself and from the one you profess to love is only dooming yourself and denying yourself at a chance to be happy. Maybe it will come again, but will it be as strong or for the same reasons? Maybe it will be and then again, maybe it won't. Love is not a cookie cutter emotion and we do not fall in love with someone for the same reasons we fell in love with before with another, if it was love at all. I feel that true love comes only once, that you can love someone else as you move along in life, but there is only one in life that comes to you that you know without doubt in your heart that that feeling you are experiencing you will never find in another. Live that love, take that chance and believe in it, yourself and the other. It can only blossom.

As I said we all see love different and we all have our own reasons as to why we fall in love. Who is to say which one is correct? Be that as it may it is something we will all experience in life either to our benefit or to our despair and it is what we put into it that will determine what we get out of it. But if you are in love, never hold back that love just to protect yourself, you are causing more damage than good. Not only to yourself but to the other and what you have worked so hard on to create. Learn to accept the other and work from there. If you are truly in love and feel that love reciprocated then you have lost nothing and have everything to gain.

Later...