Just how is it we want to be seen or perceived by others? Why do we worry about it and only afterwards do we realize that maybe we let go more of ourselves than we wanted to? Once we have said something or done something it is only afterwards that we think about it. I am one who always speaks my mind, what I am thinking and there is a reason for that. That is because I do not really care what someone else might think or say about me. There are reasons for this and ones that I believe in, a sort of philosophy that I have lived by for many years and it is two fold in what it means. We all have a certain philosophy we try and follow, it may change through out our life as we refine it, but we basically try and adhere to it to a certain extent. Now I follow mine as close as I can and I think I do it more than most claim they live by theirs. So, I do not worry about what others may think or say about me for these two reasons, "I do not break bread with them, in other words I do not sit across the dinner table with them and I do not share a bed with them. It is only those that can claim this that I should worry about how I am seen or perceived. I believe if a lot of others tried this they would find that their life would be a lot less complicated.
So many may say or think that they are liberal in what they think or how others see them, but in fact they do. How does one know this? It is easy, they cannot put things that are said behind them and they worry about what others may think or say. My father taught me a long time ago not to worry about what others say or think about you, only you know the truth about yourself and if you said something in the past that you are ashamed of now, then you should have never of said it in the first place. Regrets are past tense, not the present, even though we all have things we have regretted doing, none the less we did them and dwelling on them is not going to change the fact that it is done, the important thing is that it is behind you now. Nothing that can be changed except not to repeat it.
We are all human and we will all do things and say things that inevitably someone is going to say something about. I do not care who you are or who they are, no matter how close they are to you or not, something is going to be said sooner or later to another and if you find you cannot let it go or put it behind you it is going to be hard to see where you are going in life.
Linda had a wondeful outlook on life, one I appreciated very much, she would wake up in the morning, get dressed and give the world the finger, because to her it just didn't matter. All that mattered to her was what was behind the door of our home. Some might see this as being a bit crass or assholic, but to me it was basically in line with what I believed, she didn't break bread or share a bed with them so it really isn't that important.
I am not saying that we should not develop friendships with others or that we live a hermit's life in some cave. We should all have someone we can talk to and share outside the home. Someone who maybe has an understanding of who you are and can accept that in you and not worry about what is said, because eventually something is going to be said that will test that friendship and it is how you perceive what is said on how you will see the other. If you look to find something wrong, then you are going to find it. I have been quoted and misquoted through out my life, I expect it, because I know it is a fact that someone is going to see or hear what I have written or said the way that they want to and not the way it was meant. We all twist words to make them fit to what we want to see or think, all of us and no one can be excluded from this fact. No one can honestly say they view something with an open mind or that they can be impartial, that is just bullshit. We all go into something whether it is a conversation or reading soemthing that someone has written with a specific belief in what we perceive or think as being acceptable or true. We all have our basic philosophies, beliefs, perceptions and opinions that can and will differ from other's, they may be close to yours, enough so that you can create a compatible relationship, but as far as seeing things exactly as you do, that will not happen.
Just as I know that people will read this and think, "bullshit" and others will think, "I agree", either way to me it is not really that important, what is important to me is what I think, just as what should be important to you is what you think.
Later...
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