Random Thoughts...

I have been trying to write a poem, but it seems I am stuck on a stanza and the words just won't come to me. Strange that this happens, usually I have no problem in expressing myself, but for some reason I find myself at an impasse. Maybe it is the subject matter or it could be that the subject I chose to write about is still too close to me to express. Whatever that case may be, I guess I will just set it to the side for a while and come back to it at a later time, maybe then the words will be there.

I have noticed the change in the season this year has led me into deeper thoughts about my life. Could just be my age and the past dwells a little more on me now during this time in my life than when I was younger. Strange how when we were young, we looked at tomorrow, where we were going or wanted to go, but as time goes and we see more of our lives behind us instead of in front of us, I see myself looking to where I have been. One common thread I think there is, is that we still dream, but the dreams have changed. I see things a lot different than I have when I was younger, then I could not see the things I see now in the simplest changes that happen in my life. That even the smallest pebble thrown into a still pond causes ripples. Maybe I am starting to come to grips with my own mortality. Things that used to bother me, even scare me no longer affect me the way they do. One being death, when young to me death was an end to all things and the thought of being laid into the ground and covered with earth was morbid to me. Now I see it as inevitable, something we all must face and to be honest, more as a restful reward. It is not that I am looking forward to it, just not afraid to face it any longer.

Another I have come to terms with is limitations. When I was younger, I used to think there were no limitations, no boundaries in life, but have I come to realize there are limits and boundaries set. That they are there for a reason and I have learned to respect that. Maybe for our own protection or that of others. I guess there is a reason for fences after all. I know when I was younger I saw things of this nature as a challenge to me and I even tried to recapture that on here at one time. But as that pebble was thrown into the pond, I kept to see the wide range of the ripples on the water and their effect, not just on me but on others, many others even though it was directed at only one. The positive and negative effects.

One positive outcome in this is that I am able to express myself. That my thoughts have not stagnated and I have found an outlet or release to that cluttered mess in my mind. Being able to construct a few words into a cohesive thought, a chance to reflect and through that get a bit of insight on myself.

Even a blind pig finds an acorn in the woods sometimes....

Later...

P.S. Jazz..I promise I will finish that poem....