Ever have that ominous feeling that nothing ever seems to go as you planned or hoped that it would? That no matter what you do something inside tells you that inevitably it will go against you? Behind the 8 ball, jinxed, bad luck or bad karma, whatever you want to call it, it is still misfortune. I feel as if I am not behind that 8 ball titled here, rather I am the 8 ball just waiting for the cue ball of fate to come crashing against me and sending my world scattered and bounced off the bumpers that define the perimeter of my life. To end up far away of where I want to be and end up with nothing but regrets. Regrets not because I tried and failed, regrets because of the desired results were not attained.
That dark cloud that seems to gather over my head never dissapates, but seems to draw even more clouds to shadow my path and darken my journey. Still though I persevere in my efforts to try and overcome this delimma that seems to set me back two steps for ever step forward I take.
Maybe some day the fortunes of fate will smile on me once again and I will feel the sun on my face as the dark clouds recede and I will once more stand on the top of life's mountain and feel the breeze that refreshes and give me that sight I have lost. For now I feel as I wander aimlessly and without any real direction on this dark path I have been walking. Nothing feels right, but I see no other path intersecting to take me in another direction that would lead me out of this dismal existence. So I plod on, one step forward and two steps back hoping that one day I will see the end to this foreboding path of life's mistakes.
Maybe I should have done something a little different in the past. Maybe.
Later...
Stories posted here are the exclusive property of the Smiling Pig. No other use or reproduction of the content contained here is permissible without written prior consent.
That dark cloud that seems to gather over my head never dissapates, but seems to draw even more clouds to shadow my path and darken my journey. Still though I persevere in my efforts to try and overcome this delimma that seems to set me back two steps for ever step forward I take.
Maybe some day the fortunes of fate will smile on me once again and I will feel the sun on my face as the dark clouds recede and I will once more stand on the top of life's mountain and feel the breeze that refreshes and give me that sight I have lost. For now I feel as I wander aimlessly and without any real direction on this dark path I have been walking. Nothing feels right, but I see no other path intersecting to take me in another direction that would lead me out of this dismal existence. So I plod on, one step forward and two steps back hoping that one day I will see the end to this foreboding path of life's mistakes.
Maybe I should have done something a little different in the past. Maybe.
Later...
Stories posted here are the exclusive property of the Smiling Pig. No other use or reproduction of the content contained here is permissible without written prior consent.
3 comments:
Can't help but to put a sentence down...8 symbolises "fa" in chinese... meaning prosperity... so dun be dismay. Hope that helps...
Ping
A very pessimistic point of view!
Newton told you that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction!
If the cue ball 'crashes' into you and imparts some of its energy, then know that the cue ball is also not unaffected by your contact.
So is life....
And don't be greedy - sometimes you get to be the cue ball crashing into others.
Forget regret - you can't change a single thing ... not one!
Yesterday is dead and gone and only the memories of it survive.
So whatcha gonna do today huh?
Do something worthy of a blog enrty?
Or sit there pretending to be a poster advertising the movie "Les Misérables"?
Fortune isn't out there waiting for the sun to shine on you - it rarely shines on you unless you get your ass outside or do you like being a creature of the night or be the hermit indoors.
If you read this blog as if another wrote it, what would you say about the author?
Depressed right?
Ok I feel sorry for you!
You have my sympathy...
Better now?
Only YOU can pull YOU up!
DO IT!
Momo,
Words, thoughts and re-evaluating is all it is. But we all go through periods like this, none of us are immune from it no matter what we tell ourselves.
Physics answer to karma? Every action performed will eventually come back in some manner. To be the cue ball that would come into contact or crashing into others, well I think I have done that several times already.
Not feeling sorry for myself, not really regretting anything I have done, I may feel bad about some of the choices I have made, but I do not regret that I made them. As in everything we do there is a lessonn to be learned, just with some it may take a bit longer than we expected to learn those lessons.
Memories can be as tortureous as when it happened, it relives that moment in life that you made a choice. But like a nightmare they too can be tucked away and defenses against anything that could possibly trigger their surfacing again can be built.
Not being a poster for anything, nor advertising for some sort of sympathy or empathy from those that could relate. I do not expect nor do i want anyone to feel sorry for me, it was my choice not theirs that put me where I may be or have been, yesterday, today or tomorrow.
You know as well as I do, we choose who we want to be, what we want to do and where we want it to take us, just sometimes as it is oft said, "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."
So what am I going to do today? As I always do, go on with my life no matter how it goes. just as you and countless others do each day.
Fortunes is how we view it. What I may see as fortunate for me, you may see as a disaster waiting to happen.
What would I say if I read this outside of me posting it? I would probably think yes, they are depressed, but they are dealing with it as they best know how and maybe through this they are putting it behind them, then again maybe I would just think they were nothing more than idle thoughts. Hard to say when one is the author.
As always Momo, I love and enjoy your insight and your comments you leave. Thank you for your time and your thoughts.
By the way, my glass is always half full.
Later
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